Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this piece are the author’s and do not necessarily represent the position of Positive Women’s Network – USA.
July 31, 2019
As a mother living with HIV, I condemn the US Border Patrol for separating children from their parents based on the parent’s HIV status. This is discriminatory, stigmatizing and, from what I have read, not actual CBP policy. This action is based on hate and ignorance associated with HIV.
When I was first diagnosed with HIV, I thought I would never become a mother which is what I wanted more than anything. When I found out I was pregnant two years later, I was thrilled and a little afraid because in early 1996 I was not on antiretroviral medicine. My life expectancy wasn’t the best. I knew if I took my medication, I could reduce the risk transmission by 96%. My son would be fine, and he is.
Unfortunately my husband, my son’s dad, died two months and nine days before he was born. And like the immigrant father’s fear for his daughters, I feared my son would become an orphan if I died of an AIDS related complication. Luckily, I had access to my life-saving medications and didn’t have to flee my country for fear of my son’s safety.
During the first years of my son’s life, I lived in silence telling others that his dad died of cancer. If you have cancer, then people care. If you have HIV, then people judge. From the minute he was born, I was worried how my diagnosis would impact him: would kids invite him to birthday parties or would anyone come to his. Today my son is 22 years old, and I was around for his graduation. He escorted me down the aisle at his wedding and has given me two wonderful grandsons to love and spoil. The thought of someone taking my child away breaks my heart and would have been too traumatizing for my son. I don’t understand this. It is unconscionable to have done this to a father and his daughters. We should be better than this as a country.