My Life Today

In 2014 I met a fabulous woman, Venita Ray. She gave me the strength to get out and do the things I enjoy. I never thought I would be advocating and using my voice in an effective way. Growing up, I was never able to speak in front of other people. After almost dying in 2010 from TB, drug addiction and a t-cell count of 14, I was at my worst. My addiction was the hardest thing for me to overcome. I’ve been in every rehab in Houston and would relapse every 9 months for 15 years.

I just never wanted to look at why I couldn’t get clean and stay clean. I attributed it to growing up and being molested and raped as a child. I was beaten every day until I left my mothers house,  and I was always told I would never be anything. After a while you start to believe the mind games. I have always dealt with mental illness. I have highs and lows which have always been a danger for me. I still have my ups and downs, and thanks to the wonderful women who were placed in my life, I have tools in place today. Recovery is an everyday battle to stay grounded and not give up when times get hard. I’m a hot mess right know because I’m going to miss my friend and mentor, but I’m not going to give up everything we have worked so hard for in Houston.

PWN-Greater Houston has given me back my life and most of all confidence to not give up on myself and my rights as a woman living with HIV. Most of all everything I do today gives me joy to help someone besides myself. The 12 steps taught me you must give back to keep what you have in order to stay clean. When I remember being homeless, in and out of prison and sick all the time, it keeps me grounded and the rewards of being clean are worth every bit of my life today. I have never traveled this much in my life. The awards of all the education and opportunity of learning and presenting have saved my life in many ways. To Venita, my friend and mentor, I will miss you! Lots of love my sister!